Sunday, January 13, 2008

A Cloud And The Sun

A cloud has come between the sun and my usually cheery life. I know it will pass, but I feel stranded with a heavy heart. This change came about suddenly and is unexpected. Friday, I left early to catch a flight to Raleigh, NC where I am the featured artist of a one-man show this weekend. The paintings being exhibited are works from my last sojourn in Europe. The gallery owner and his wife are hosting me and I am staying at their house. I did not realize it, but Friday was Naomi’s birthday (A Heart Traced in Sand). I have been feeling pressed by all the details which I have to grapple with before leaving the USA and beginning my extended travels. Getting on a plane for a long flight brought home to me what I am facing in the days ahead: rootless solitude. Then, I remembered my loss of Naomi and the huge hole her absence creates.
After Raleigh this weekend, I continue on to Washington DC where my brother lives. He is 52 and recently wed a lovely young Vietnamese woman who bore his first child nine months ago. My daughter Sarah is flying in and together we will see Wade, Huong, and Henry, our new family member.


Anonymous said...

Can it be a good thing that Naomi's birthday is beginning to not sound the song of sorrow "as much" anymore for you? Time passes. The feeling of loss heals. Let it. We are able to share ourselves more with those still here. You honor Naomi with the quality relationship you bring to Sarah and everyone else you know. I don't believe the departed measure us at all, but if they do, certainly not with such mundane instruments as birthdays. You are doing a great job moving on Steven. Stay the course.

Steve said...

Thank you Tom. Birthdays are always difficult for those who have lost their children. Certainly the children do not feel any pain, and want their loved ones to be happy, not sad on their account. Believe me, Naomi gives me much more strength than anything else.
I think I am going through a little "buyers remorse," and it is a big purchase I am doing now.
No doubt about staying the course. Thanks again.