As previously mentioned, focus has returned to words. Combing through decades of writing, essays are taking shape drawn from years of travel and introspection. A foundation is forming, and at its core, the year 2008.
A year of surrender. A year of dissolving into the matrix of life. Traveling the world with no fixed plan, disappearing into The Dream. That journey reshaped everything—perception, identity, the sense of what is possible. Now, its echoes call to be gathered into writing, to be shared.
Perhaps, someday, they will find their way into a book, titled, The Weight of Air. A collection of journeys—both outward and inward—woven together with the same thread that has always guided me: surrender, discovery, and the dissolution of boundaries. But for now, the task has begun; offering through words and images, glimpses into worlds both spiritual and sensual, taking flight between wakefulness and dreaming.
The first chapter is called, The Moment I Chose to Vanish. An excerpt:
Into the Matrix
Preparing to give myself into the unknown, my thoughts were becoming doorways; portals into experience. The physical world, I understood, was where the true value of my visions would be revealed. A recurring desire took hold of me: I wanted to disappear into the matrix of the earth. Not to carry anything with me, but to become fluid and free.
What did this mean? To disappear—to vanish from being seen as a separate, formed being and dissolve into oneness with life. Life, the vast, interwoven fabric where everything is connected—people, events, places, emotions, and time. I desired to be in this matrix, surrendering to the flow, allowing experiences to inspire and shape me rather than trying to control them. Children remained close to it, still forming in its embrace, unshaped by the boundaries that adults constructed.
Looking back now, I see I stood on the threshold of an exploration—one that would take me beyond those boundaries, into a vast unknown. I had been preparing to strip away the artificial walls that society had built around life, to step into something raw and unfiltered.
Meanwhile, my cousin’s voice chimes in via email, reminding of what has often been said, ”A picture is worth a thousand words.”
As if to answer, the CUATROSIE7E art gallery in Oaxaca sends news—a painting has sold and found its home in Maine, USA. Encouragement arrives in many forms, and with it, the brush moves again. A new mixed-media piece has emerged, charting fresh territory.
So many choices. How to balance it all?
Painter, writer, photographer, traveler, dreamer. Stories take shape in color and in words, light and shadow⏤each medium offering its own kind of truth. Each calls in its own way. The task is to listen, to follow where inspiration leads, and trust that in the end, all forms belong to the same unfolding vision.
Perhaps they are not separate at all.
1. Substack and Medium are online publishing platforms that allow writers to share their work with a broad audience. Substack offers a newsletter-style format, where readers can subscribe to receive posts directly in their inboxes, often supporting writers through paid subscriptions. Medium, on the other hand, functions more like a digital magazine, where articles are published and discovered by readers based on interests, with the potential for writers to earn based on engagement. Both platforms provide a space for independent voices to reach and build a community of readers.
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