Saturday, October 22,
My wife Jean went to Chicago to visit our daughter Sarah, and although we have been separated almost two months, I stayed at our house a few days, taking care of the dog, cat, plants, doing some yard work, and sorting through some of my belongings that remain at home. I love the house and surroundings that I put so much of my life into, yet, at bedtime I felt too anxious to sleep. My heart is torn by opposing wishes.
Tonight I saw a movie called The Science of Sleep. It was both funny in a slap-dash way, and also thought provoking. The protagonist could not differentiate between his dreaming and waking. This blurring made life incredibly vivid, and also got him in trouble. The film showed that our unconscious world has no boundaries, while our “real” waking life is subject to many rules that often are in conflict with our inner desires. Personally, I try to allow as much room as possible for the rich workings of the unconscious, which in many ways is closer to Spirit. It was not always like this. In my early adulthood, my unconscious terrified me, and I tried all day long to keep myself together by isolating it. The suffering was almost unbearable, and in fact I spent a few days in a mental hospital. Now, I am much happier diving into the unconscious, comfortasble with it's darkness as well as light.